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Lord Foul's Bane

Stephen R. Donaldson Ù 5 Read & Download

I live in a smallish oom with The Truth (Discworld, roughly a couple of thousand books They are everywhere I love the books but I also hate the books I d have space if it wasn t for them when I moved it would be easy if it didn t involve carrying what feels like an endless amount of heavy boxes packed with them They are everywhere The bookshelves are all double stacked There are books on top of the normally shelved books There are piles of them everywhere They fall over They are in the way Mooncheese likes to knock them over sometimes even though falling books scare her Like Juliana Hatfield felt about her sister I have the same lovehateelationship with my significant others Lately I ve been in the mindset to cull some of the books Be all JC on them and Mr. Perfect remove the wheat from the chaff I ve been a little successful I ve gottenid of about sixty or seventy books in the last couple of months but there is a problem I feel wrong about getting Secret Suffragette rid of books that I have not yetead This wouldn t be a problem except that a like a geologist I can go through my shelves and 7 Secrets of the Goddess re create the history of fleeting ideas and interests I had that happened to correspond to fortuitous trips to used bookstores and b I sometimes buy a lot of crap An amendment to b is that I also acuire a lot of crap for free ie I Love You Beth Cooper In some cases a and b come together Lord Foul s Bane is one of those books A few years ago I went through a brief moment where I thought maybe I should become familiar with fantasy Then I bought up some fantasy books for about a uarter a piece on a trip to the always wonderful bookstoreI love this cat he likes to sometimes sit on my back while I m crouched down looking for books in Schuylerville turning point of the Revolutionary War and home of the most disgusting home I ever stepped foot in but that is another story I ll try to fit into some othereview where dog shit plays a promiment Indianomix role This long and uninteresting story has noeal point except that I want to get My Favorite Earthling (Otherworldly Men, rid of books but I feel I need toead them before getting Doglands rid of them Lately that has been making meead books I have no interest in I ll look at a book that I think I will enjoy and say to myself when I finish this I think I ll want to keep it So instead of Riveted (Iron Seas, reading something I may potentially enjoy I ll see something like Lord Foul s Bane sitting in a pile and I ll grab this instead I didn t finish this book I made it a little than halfway through it If I spent another couple of hourseading I d be able to finish it but I just don t care to The book is bad It s written in very formal and stilted style kind of book is bad It s written in very formal and stilted style kind of something you hear from some drama nerd who tries to bring a little Shakespeare into their daily life The story is uninteresting It is difficult to accomplish this for me I find nothing wrong with An Officer and a Spy reading a novel about a man laying in pig shit and doing nothing but thinking I can find that engaging There is nothing engaging in this book By the time I stoppedeading it there was some kind of uest to bring "A MESSAGE TO SOMEONE BUT I "message to someone but I t give a fuck Why didn t I care Well one I hated the language I hated the characters The main character is a one dimensional leper with Fates (Fates, rage issues that make little sense except that they spring up when the author needs to create dialog The only meaningful thing he did in 252 pages wasape a girl All of the other characters are bullshit cookie cutter caricatures The whole world he created seems like just a series of seperate little communities that each have some New Age Hippy thing going on There are the people who like the ocks the people who like the tree s the people who like the water but besides liking something they don t seem to do too muchI m Treeman of the timberpeople my made up names are only a tad dumber then the names Donaldson comes up with and we live in the treesWhat else do you doDo We live in treesYeah but besides living in trees what do you do I live in an apartment but I also do other thingsNo man you don t get it we live in trees We like trees Just like Granitehead of the Rock collectors digs ocks we dig treesI get live in trees We like trees Just like Granitehead of the Rock collectors digs ocks we dig treesI get you like trees they like ocks but you live in a world and you have to do something besides just like trees No man you don t get it we like trees Are you OBaby retarded What baffles me about this book is that it is highlyegarded It was up for a bunch of big awards Lists on place it as a great fantasy book and maybe it is My fantasy knowledge being kind of weak Besides my other misgivings the thing I hated most ok not besides I hated this the most was the motherfucking bullshit weakasfuck Dungeon Master shit that the author pulled constantly Any possible conflict could be Nerds resolved by some lame ass addition into the powers of a character or thing Maybe it s fun when youe ok Me when I was 13 and overweight and playing Dungeons and Dragons with your friend to throw all logic out the window and just let your characters kill and do anything they would like but as a novelists you can t just add bullshit constantly because you can t think of any other way out of the problems you have made your 1977 1st Ed. Haracters face you may do this "if your name is Joss and your protagonist is a teenage girl who kills vampires I "your name is Joss and your protagonist is a teenage girl who kills vampires I t know why he gets a pass but he does no one else does though I m done with this book and this Zack (Areion Fury MC review I m going to give this book away and maybe learn my lesson that if I don t think I d enjoy a book I own it may be ok to just getid of it without torturing myself for past mistakes in book buying Wow I Shadow on the Crown (The Emma of Normandy Trilogy, really didn t like this bookI think it was in large part due to the fact that I found the main character so utterly unlikable Heck he s even despicableSome people canead and enjoy a book despite not being able to empathize with the characters I m
not one of 
one of PEOPLE I ACTUALLY LIKE TO CARE ABOUT MY people I actually like to care about my characters It s pretty hard to THIS is a book for folks who often find life Tough Maybe you ContamiNation re one of em That has been My life for sureWhen I was 20 I started swimming against the Tide I had discovered Value in my life I was gonna hang on to it for dear lifeThe only other available option was sheer outrageSo naturally I made new friends the pleasers They sought to lull me with their nice pleasant lullabies and dropped pleasant leading gambitsWhenever in a weak moment I consented to listen the soporific would be gently administered and I d drift off to Lala Land for what seemed ages But then I demember to Remember myself and throw off my shackles Time then for my opposition to use the heavy artilleryYou got itSo back and forth went my life just so for interminable aeons of slumber interspersed with jarringly wide awake cauchemars with all their Soul splitting bright noonday torment Awakening from history s nightmare is no picnicPride was always my stumbling block EXACTLY as it is for Thomas Covenant in the Strange and Savage Real Life Dreamworld he s been catapulted into We Taxi ins Glück re all proud naturally because of our inborn need for transcendence Aeal adix malorum as it turns out So then the world turns to us and says You e no one special So why not just jump on the eternal bandwagon of endless 247 Desire Because it s precisely the Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas road of fools is why the way to dusty death Death isn teal to a little kid And it s only The Magic Rolling Pin real to us because of our illimitable desires We have to make perfect our willBut Thomas knows nothing of this So in his vividly Real parallel universe to his daily disbarred from humanity drudgery of incurable leprosy he is fighting perceived evilDon t all we outsiders do thatJust like me so Thomas a leper one set apart and enchained in a Magic Circle of Exclusion from polite society A figurative leper like theest of us plodders who strive with every fibre of our sinews to be Indecent... Exposure (Indecent, reconnected and justified to our erstwhile peersAs Kafka says give it up Kafka and Thomas win out Inclusion is not the point Our and their splintered life is Brokenness wins That s where we startAs the Nobel laureate Lagerkvist states Endurance is everything for only in that can there be GloryWe are ALL clinging to that accursedock upon which we like Prometheus who saw THROUGH Lord Foul s mind games are impaled sentenced to submit to the gnawing of the gods upon our liverSo Not Without a Fight resistance as the film clich says is futileAnd submission is key The books in the immortal Thomas Covenant sword n sorcery series seem endless and a too daunting task for a feeble septuagenarian like me to attempt But I HIGHLYecommend them to folks who like I do find the struggle for Goodness Herculean And this First one of the saga is Great For Thomas Struggle is Really Endless No getting around itIt gets better you know if we make ourselves LITTLE Then we Garden Bouquets and Beyond re only chaff spinning on the Hurricane of Life And chaff is just peanuts at the Destroyer s orgiastic feastSome day we will all be able to do just that ALL of us VictimsOnce the strength of the battle subsides we will find we have been MOLDED into a vital tiny truculence that can endure ALL the outrageous Forces of CircumstanceOn that blessed day we ll drop our guardAnd take up the eternal cloak of Humility Which will lead us to a Far Better Land than the one souinously despoiled by Lord Foul I The Unseen Wonder read Lord Foul s Bane once in grade seven the same year I firstead Macbeth and Lady Chatterly s Lover and The Lord of the Rings for a second time It was a good year for me and The Management Bible reading And an important year for who I would become But I didn t know until now how important Lord Foul s Bane was to all of thatThis story has stuck with me in the most amazing ways After nearly three decades Iecalled an amazing amount of detail in the pages I Zu schnell reread Iemembered minute details about Thomas Covenant s attitude towards his leprosy especially when it came to the VSE Visual Surveillance of Extremities Sleepless (Bird of Stone, rituals that sustained him in our world and the newituals he developed during his time in the Land I emembered Atiaran s stone knife and the way Covenant tempted the fate of his leprosy with its keen edge the edge that never dulled I emembered the way Covenant hero anti hero villain weakling coward simply flawed aped Atiaran s daughter Lena I emembered the diamond draught of Stoneheart Foamfoll. Holt Rineh. ,
Ower and the image of the impaled Waynhim in the Waymeet and the Death Of The Unfettered of the Unfettered trying to save the beautiful wraiths of the Andelainian Hills and the wedge formation of the ur Viles I Invisible (The Curse of Avalon remembered it all with the sort of clarity one has when theyead a book dozens of times or eread a book very shortly after having put it down but I didn t expect to have anywhere near the clarity I had all these years later Thomas Covenant himself has stuck with me He is frustrating spiteful ugly tormented cynical dark brooding and infuriatingly self pitying He every bit "the Unbeliever he himself And Stephen R Donaldson wants him to "Unbeliever he names himself And Stephen R Donaldson wants him to that way He needs him to be that way Covenant has to fight his belief in the Land at every turn because the Land is impossible and as a ational man suffering from leprosy in 20th century North America all that allows him to cling to his life is his ationality and sanity no matter how tenuous both are But the Land at least in this first book of the Chronicles is unbelievable It has to be one of the strangest most frightening and surrealistic fantasy worlds ever created Donaldson describes it with achingly beautiful prose and sometimes that beautiful prose is dense and slow and plodding mirroring the motion of Covenant through the Land itself to eveal wonders that are just slightly different from everything we ve seen before in every high fantasy that Tolkien gave birth to but Donaldson s slight shift in perspective his offering of the place through the decaying lens of a leper his constant overturning of expectations makes his fantasy world uniue His giants are not what we d expect nor are his wraiths nor his Cavewights nor his landscape nor his weather nor his incarnadine corrupted moon nor his magic And the most disconcerting difference between Donaldson s Land and the other fantasy Deep Listening realms we know is that his Land feels entirely unpopulated Covenant never stops travelling as he tries to escape his dream yet his contact with the Land s denizens is minimal He passes through four centers of population Mithil Stonedown a town of Gravelingas who areich in stone lore Soaring Woodhelvin a tree town of Lillianrill who are ich in wood lore Revelstone the seat of the High Lords and the Plains of Ra where the nomadic Ramen serve the Ranyhyn a kind of uber horse He sees great sights bizarre ituals and happenings and he interacts with a person here or there but the first two towns seem home to mere dozens of people Revelstone seems empty and the Ramen are so hidden in their poisonous plains that we never get a sense of how many there are And even those people and Evolution, Me Other Freaks of Nature races Covenant spends much time with such as the Haruchai Bloodguards and his Giant friend are isolated from their vital populations Two score set out to fight Lord Foul s desecration Where is everyone else The Land feels empty and this is another d I ve often lamented that five starating systems such as the one used by GoodReads don t allow for atings lower than one star Were it possible I d give this book negative stars I think it actually sucks the uality away from books shelved near it and generally makes the world a less joyful less intelligent place to beYou might assume from the previous statements that I dislike this book Given that dislike is a pretty mild miluetoast term on the sliding scale of affection you would be wrong I loathe this book This is one of the very few novels I ve ever literally thrown across a oom once I d finished it and if I had the chance I d cheerfully do so again preferably at Donaldson himself were he within Trajan rangeWhy Let s start with the protagonist and please don t even try to sell me on the notion that he s an anti hero Thomas Covenant is one of the most loathsome self involved creations ever to emerge from a writer s psyche and the fact that he himself would agree with that assessment alleviates hisepulsiveness not one bit Covenant is whiny to the point of self parody self pitying to the point of ego collapse and constantly uses his admittedly Bunnys Book Club Goes to School real hardships as justification for not acceptingesponsibility for anything including a heinous act of sexual violence which Donaldson thoughtfully sketches out for us just enough to make sure we don t miss the point yes Covenant The Peculiar Pig really doesape a character after she s just healed him of his leprosyLadies and gentlemen Our HeroOf course that s merely the most glaring flaw in a book chock full of awful Donaldson s writing style gives new depth and nuance to the concept of purple prose and his epic story Cherry Ingram reads like an overcooked pastiche of Tolkien with some cheeryealism for which The Mermaids Shoes read late 20th century self involvement stirred in for flavor I d go on further but honestly there s only so long I can stomach kicking this dog of a novel before I feel the need to wash the taste of Donaldson s florid writing and his hero out of my brainIegret ever Untameable Rogue (Bennett reading this book and I am absolutely flabbergasted that it has enougheaders and fans to have led to seven count em seven seuels as of this writing I mean sure I know there s no accounting for taste but damn. Olt Winston. .

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